European Odyssey
by FFXFan13
Summary: After alienating himself from his Pen-Pal, Arturia Pendragon, Emiya Shirou follows his friends advice and attempts to head to London, to patch things up with her. To bad he has no experience being impulsive, and can't help getting into trouble along the way. His friends aren't much help either. AU. First chapter based on the movie Eurotrip.


"Congratulations, Homurahara Academy Class of 2004!"

The voice of the principal echoed out throughout the speaker, only to be drowned out by the cheers from the children graduating. Hats were thrown in the air, diplomas were held aloft, even as the collective group ran through the hallways, eager to make their way to freedom, and their vacations. Pushing the doors open, the graduates flood the courtyard of the school, running to meet their parents and relatives. Congratulations, and hugs were passed around, as well as reminders and "hope to see you there's" about the party at Gai's place.

And among these students, a certain duo was making their way towards a young, gold eyed white-haired girl.

"Caren!" The voice of Emiya Shirou called to the girl, who had been previously chatting to a few of the other graduates. Facing the approaching teen, the young girls yellow eyes seemingly lit up.

"Hey." She let out, as she was wrapped up in a hug from her boyfriend, her hands tightening around the jacket she was holding. Lowering his head slightly, Shirou stole a quick kiss with his girlfriend, before pulling away, at his friend's not-so-subtle cough.

"Congratulations, graduate..." She murmured, with a seductive smile on her face.

"Thanks..." He returned embarrassedly, nuzzling her hair as he did so. Pulling away, her smirk changed into a, less than friendly, smile as she faced the reaming member of the duo.

"And congratulations to you too, Gil..." She forced out, her smile becoming strained.

"Aw, thanks baby..." The golden-haired boy said in his, most seductive voice, as he made to hug her, before she effortlessly shoved him away, a condescending look decorating her pale features.

"Nice try Gil."

"Alright, I'll see you at Gai's party tonight then?" The blonde asked, facing Shirou's amused form.

"Yeah, see you then." With that said, Gil and Shirou parted ways.

"So..." Shirou began, a soft smile making its way onto his face.

"It's just going be you and me for the entire summer. Next year you graduate and join me in college... See, it's just like we planned." A gentle smile on his face, as the memories played in his mind.

"Shirou we need to talk." Coming out of his memories for the moment, Shirou refocused his attentions upon his, now nervously fidgeting girlfriend.

"Sure, what's the matter?" he felt a cold pit form where his stomach would normally be, Caren was never nervous.

"I'm dumping you."

"...You lost me."

"Ah! There you are Shirou, and Caren's with you as well." Emiya Kiritsugu said, emerging from the crowd, video camera in his hand, smile on his face and flanked by Emiya Irisviel, Shirou's mother, Emiya Illyasviel, Shirou's sister, and Emiya Archer, Shirou's uncle.

"Smile you two!" Irisviel encouraged, giving the two a thumbs up, a rather air headed smile on her face. Archer and Illya however, were actually able to read the mood, and just settled on rolling their eyes at their relatives' obliviousness.

"Dad, Mum, Uncle Archer... I'm gonna need a couple of minutes here, alright?" He said, turning around, pulling Caren closer, to try to stop his family from overhearing.

"What do you mean you're dumping me?" Hurt clearly audible in his words, and voice.

"Shirou... I just can't take all the lying and cheating on each other anymore..." Bitter regret tinged her words briefly, before dying out.

"What are you talking about? I never cheated on you..." That he knew of. He _had_gone out drinking with Gil before, so, who knew what Gil had gotten him to do.

"I know, and that's what makes this so difficult." Her voice seemed rather strained, her eyes looking anywhere but at him.

"Hey, something the matter you guys." Kiritsugu commented, as he took a photograph, using the camera he had pulled out, after handing the video recorder to his wife.

"Shirou... It's not you. It's me..." Her words seemed to trail of, a look of conflict on her face.

"No, that's not right. It _was_you. You're just too..." She paused, to think of the correct word, to describe the red-head.

"Predictable." she settled on.

"So that's it?" His words struggled to make their way out of his mouth. That was it? That was all their time together was worth?

"Here's you jacket back. Goodbye." Shoving the jacket into his hands, she walked away, keeping her face deliberately away from his fathers or mothers cameras.

"This isn't mine..." he mumbled out, staring down at the unfamiliar jacket in his hands, tears building up in his eyes, and threatening to spill out.

His father paused in taking his photos and made his way over to his upset son, and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Well, she's a keeper." He said, pride tingeing his words. The entire exchange, having escaped his hearing.

His sister and uncle just palmed their faces.

"...Oh." As if taking notice of his son's distress for the first time, Kiritsugu gently backed off.

"...No..." Shirou mumbled out, tears now falling freely from his eyes.

"Caren!" He cried after her, even though she had long since left his line of sight.

* * *

_"Caren!" _Emiya Shirou cried, on-screen, as he broke down, sobbing into the jacket he held in his hands.

"...Let's see that again." Gil commented, once the video was paused. His words filled with amusement. The images on the TV screen started to rewind, before playing again, once it reached the desired place.

_"Caren!" _The on-screen Shirou cried again, crying into the jacket once more, as Gil and Illya looked on.

"This is just so _brutal _and yet, I can't tear my eyes away." The blonde haired teen said, his eyes wide "Play it again."

_"Caren!"_

"...Illya, would you give us a minute?" Shirou groaned at his sister, who had been in the process of rewinding the tape for her brother's friend.

"See ya Gilroy..." Illya waved to him as she left, before pausing to look at her brother, a sad smile etched on her face, "Sorry."

"Don't call me that!" The now irritated blonde yelled, but it was pointless since Illya already left the room.

_"You've got mail" _sounded suddenly, from the computer Shirou had in the corner of his room. He had apparently started it up, but not really done anything on it. After a few clicks, the e-mail popped up, revealing a letter from his pen-pal.

"Hey, I got one from Arthur..." Shirou noted from the address.

"You still writing that guy? I thought that was just for English class..." Gil pondered aloud.

"Ah... Well, it was at first but..." Shirou said, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment

"We've actually become pretty good friends; he's a pretty nice guy, just a little stiff sometimes." He said, turning away from his response to face his friend.

"Dude, listen to yourself." Gil said as he stood up, and made to stand next to Shirou, "You met a 'Cool Guy' on the Internet. Don't you know that how these sexual predators work?"

Shirou arched an eyebrow, "Uh..."

"Next thing you know, he's going to want to 'arrange a meeting', where you will be drugged, dragged into the back of his van, and have a wind-chime made of your testicles." He finished a smirk on his face.

"Now come on, let's get to Gai's." Gil made his way towards the door.

"Yeah... I won't let Caren ruin my graduation." Quickly finishing up his reply, he shut his computer off, and made to catch up with his blond friend.

* * *

Shirou and Gil walked around the massive party that was being held at Gai's place. There were people jumping off rooftops to the pool, couples making out wherever possible, and beer competitions from drinking beer upside down to whoever can have to most cups. It was a haven for graduates and the big thing about it; they don't have to worry about school. As they made their way through, they were surprised by a raver haired girl who clamped her hands down on their shoulders.

"Emiya-Kun, Gil. You two are late." The girl greeted them.

"Sorry about that Tohsaka..." Shirou responded.

"Hey Rin," Gil, however, wasn't really excited to meet her.

Rin looked at Shirou dead in the eyes, "I'm sorry about Caren..."

"Thanks, I'd rather not focus on it at the moment though" Shirou said, smiling a bit as he felt a bit more cheerful.

"Okay, enough talking," Gil told them, walking through the backyard with his friends, "There has to be about a hundred drunk girls here and we should be nailing every one of them."

Rin scrunched up her eyebrows, "Hello, _I'm _a girl?"

Gil looked back at her, "And not drunk."

"So, where's Issei?" Shirou wondered.

Not too far from where they were was the man in question, holding up two cups of beer as he tried to get through the crowd. Issei Ryuudou, struggled slipping through the small spaces, the teenagers left, as the danced to the music blaring in the background.

Issei managed to escape the crowd, but the stain on his vest was in clear view to his friends and Rin.

"I got you your drink Tohsaka..." He scowled, unhappy at being used for cheap labour, by the Red Devil.

"Finally," Rin mumbled as Issei handed Rin her cup, which she cringed at a moment later, "Ugh, this is gin and tonic, I hate gin..!"

"Oh? You do?" Issei smiled innocently, light reflecting from his glasses, hiding his eyes from view.

Gil smirked, "Wow, you two are like the worst friends ever..."

"We're not friends!" The two yelled in synchronisation.

Ignoring the pairs' response, they walked through the backyard, heading to one of the refill stations. As they walked, they greeted their former classmates, while dodging Ayako, the former captain of the Archery club, as she tried to challenge Shirou, and the red head was sure he had seen Shinji darting into the house, holding the hand of an older woman, with long pink hair that reminded him of a librarian. Their conversations shifted from Rin's drink to Shirou's unfortunate break-up to their various plans for their summer vacation. Shirou was planning to work with his father, to help improve his odds of getting into college, Gil, on the other hand, was going to be working as an errand boy at a lawfirm.

"So, what are you gonna do Issei?" Shirou asked the bespectacled monk.

Issei paused briefly, as if mentally revising his plans before he spoke, "I'm going to be taking a tour of Europe, visiting places of historical and religious importance."

"Sounds pretty lame." Gil remarked, causing Rin to smirk a bit.

"Anyway," Issei continued, ignoring Gil and Rin, "To prepare myself, I bought Kuzuki's Guidebook on Europe, do any of you want to read it?"

Gil smirked, "Why would you even bring something like that here?"

Issei frowned while Gil's smirk widened into a smile, causing Rin to intervene, "Okay, enough. Personally, I'm planning a nice little holiday to Paris, before I visit some relatives in London."

"So why Paris?" Shirou asked, out of curiosity.

"I heard that someone who graduated from our school went to Paris and met this French man who took her on a romantic dinner and a boat ride until they settled down to watch the sunset." Rin replied, a slight hint of jealousy in her voice.

"Lame." Gil commented, his eyes scanning the party for something.

"No it isn't, it's romantic," Rin stated.

Gil shook his head smirking, "Sure, sure… if you're 13."

Palming her face, Rin mentally counted backwards from 10.

"And what would someone like _you _know about romance!?" She grit out.

"More than you, and now, if you don't mind, I gotta piss like a pregnant woman, catch y'all later," Gil told them, leaving from the refill spot.

Rolling their eyes at their mutual friend's crude language, the group split up and headed in separate directions, with Shirou heading towards the stage, to watch the currently performing band. Finishing up their current song, the lead singer, a teenager about Shirou height, with a lazy demeanour and darkly tanned skin, and tattoos running across his entire body, a dark red bandanna was wrapped firmly around his head, keep his black hair from getting into his eyes, tapped the microphone, to bring everyone's attention to him.

"Alright people, I wanna do a little something for you tonight, a little piece dedicated to my Girlfriend." Smirking, the singer's words seemed to radiate pride, and sexual energy, while maintaining his lazy posture.

"Caren..." At the sound of her name, Shirou felt the pit from earlier form in his stomach, the world began blurring, and he felt like he was going to throw up, in fact, he almost did, before he was violently shoved out of the way, and he caught a glimpse of white hair.

'_Caren!?_'

Said girl quickly made her way up on stage, and Shirou finally caught sight of how _little_she was actually wearing.

"This one's for you baby, happy anniversary." His voice a strange, paradoxical mix of warmth and care, and overwhelming lust, and then...

And then he kissed her. It wasn't the type of kiss Shirou had shared with her. No, this kiss was rough, and demanding. Full of an animistic need to dominate. And then the music started, and he pulled away, as the crowd that had gathered, without Shirou noticing, began to cheer as loudly as they could.

_Shirou doesn't know,  
That Caren and me,  
Do it in my van every Sunday._

_She tells him she's in church,_  
_But she doesn't go,_  
_Still she's on her knees, and..._

_Shirou doesn't know, oh._  
_Shirou doesn't know-oh._  
_So don't tell Shirou!_  
_Shirou doesn't know,_

The intro and chorus felt like tiny knives stabbing into Shirou's body, stabs that was slowly killing him. Out of everyone in the crowd, Shirou felt like he was isolated, the only person separated from the group who are enjoying the song. He brought the cup to his lips and took a sip, watching Caren remove her jacket as she started swinging it around before tossing it to the crowd. One knife after the other, which made Shirou wonder when this was going to end.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gil was zipping up his pants after peeing at the ground, he overheard some girls talking and giggling. Walking up to the tall shrubs, he parted them a bit to see what it was. The sight was so beautiful to him; three girls, naked from the waist up, enjoying themselves in the hot tub. Why was it beautiful to him, it's because three girls means three pairs of breast.

"Oh man, I think I have finally found Shangri La..." Gil mumbled, watching the scene.

If he paid a bit more attention, he would have known those three are from the track team. Plus, if he thought about it a bit more, he would have remembered those three have boyfriends. Two of the three girls, Kane and Kaede, told their friend that they were going back into the house. Gil watched the two girls disappear into the house, waiting for his time to strike.

Making sure that they are back in the house, Gil directed his attention back to the girl in the hot tub, "And here we go..!"

Gil rushed through the shrubs and jumped into the hot tub, surprising the only other person who was in there – Yukika, "Ah, hey!"

"Oh, wait a minute, this isn't where I parked my car," Gil said, feigning stupidity.

"Gil what was that for?" Yukika asked, embarrassed as she covered up her breasts.

Gil arched an eyebrow, "I thought I would join you..."

* * *

_I can't believe he's so trusting,_

_While I'm right behind you thrusting._

The knives were never-ending, they just kept stabbing into him without stopping. Caren just had to lean close to the singer and rotate her hips while her boyfriend just gave a thrusting motion. It was just sickening and yet, Shirou just couldn't move from where he was. It was as if something was keeping him there, letting the knives stab him until the last blow. He took another drink from his cup, aware that it's empty.

_Cause Shirou doesn't know,  
Shirou doesn't know,  
Shirou doesn't know,  
Shirou doesn't know._

* * *

"You... pig," Yukika told him, getting up so she could leave the hot tub.

"Wait Yukika, you should clean that off before you go inside," Gil told her.

Yukika looked confused and a bit speculative, "Clean what off?"

"You got a little something on you," Gil said, pointing to the left side of his chest to show Yukika an example, "It's like a smudge or something."

Yukika removed her arms to show her breasts so she could find the "smudge" that Gil told her, "Where?"

Gil stared at her breasts for a moment before he did a circular movement around his chest, "Uh... It's like dirt, try rubbing it."

Yukika was a bit apprehensive about believing Gil but she did what she was told to do. She started rubbing her right breast back and forth, trying to remove the "dirt" from her. Gil couldn't help it, he was enjoying the show but he has to make sure that he didn't show any ulterior motives. If you want to get a girl to rub her breast, make sure you are believable in your lie, otherwise, you're a dead man.

"Is it off?" Yukika asked.

Gill shook his head a bit, "Nope, keep rubbing it..."

* * *

_I did her on his birthday._

Caren reached over to the mic and sang with her boyfriend, delivering the last blow to Shirou. He was free and depressed, two things that should never mix together with people. Finishing his cup, he turned around and walked away from the crowd, tossing to cup to who knows where. He needed something stronger, something that would help him forget about what just happened. It was over, Caren won yet again and frankly, he didn't care, not one bit.

_Shirou doesn't know,  
Shirou doesn't know,  
Shirou doesn't know,  
Shirou doesn't know,  
Don't tell Shirou._

"Hmm..." Gil continued to watch Yukika, who was now kneading her breast, "No-nope, it's just not coming off..."

Yukika stopped her ministrations and moved her breast, trying to find the spot on her, "What is it?"

"Well, it might be tree sap, try pinching it," Gil told her.

Yukika did as she was told, but it didn't change much of anything. Gil then sighed for two reasons, one was for the naïvety of Yukika – which is a good thing – and the other was to show exasperation. He had to speed up his plans somehow, so the only way is to deny everything that she is doing. In order for that to work, he has to tell her to do them. It was the only way he would be able to grope her breasts in time and get away with it.

"Ugh, no, it's not coming off," Gil said, "I'll tell you what, lick your fingers and get some saliva going."

Yukika removed her hand from her breast and licked her fingers, trying to get enough saliva on it. She then brought her hand back to her breast and started rubbing it again. Gil just shook his head, he has to get through it quickly, its sweet heaven and it's just waiting for him. Yukika looked at Gil and noticed him shaking his head.

"No, not enough saliva going," Gil told her.

Yukika removed her hand from her breast again and inserted her index finger inside her mouth, swishing her tongue all around it. She bobbed her head a bit before removing her finger and circling it around her breast, trying to remove the "tree sap" that was on her. As she was focused on that, Gil dipped a bit into the poll and bobbed his head side to side, enjoying the scene right before him. Yukika looked up and stared at Gil, a hint of frustration in her eyes.

"Is it gone yet?" She asked.

"Okay, you know what, let me do it," Gil told her, gesturing her to come, "Come over here."

Yukika got up and was about to walk over to him but fun time was over, "Yukika, what the hell!?"

They looked over to see Kane holding a wine bottle and some glass cups, seeing them interact. A second later, Kaede came out along with the girls boyfriends. Seeing their reaction, Yukika covered her breasts and backed away from Gil like he was the plague. Now, Gil only had two choices, stay and get beaten up, or run like hell.

"Oh, uh... ha ha, this isn't where I parked my car..?" Gil said, laughing a bit due to the tension.

One of the boyfriends – which Gil presumed to be Yukika's – came up to him, cracking his knuckles as he did so.

* * *

_Shirou will know,_

_Shirou has to know,  
Shirou's gotta know,  
Gonna tell Shirou,  
Gonna tell him myself._

Gil was thrown by Yukika's boyfriend, a racket hanging around his neck as he fell on to the ground behind Shirou. Gil crawled through the ground until he reached the table, which he used as support as he was getting up on his feet. He was so close to reaching heaven and yet, he lost the chance to grope Yukika's breasts. It looks like it's back to the drawing board for him, something that he didn't want to do.

Gil turned to look at Shirou, who was absent-mindedly rotating the cup in his hand, "Hey..."

_Shirou has to know,  
Shirou has to know,  
Shirou has to,  
Shirou has to,  
Shirou has to go!_

Gil looked back towards the stage where the crowd was, hearing the end of the song. Even though he was focused on Yukika, he overheard the song and had to admit, it was a pretty catchy tune. He looked back to Shirou and, whether it was him being a bit sexually active or the beating he received, smiled. Even though it was a loss today, it was still a great party.

"This band rocks!" Gil exclaimed, not noticing Shirou taking a sip out of his cup.

* * *

After that, Shirou attempted to drink his entire body weight in Alcohol, but, regardless of how much he drank, the hollowness he felt inside didn't go away. The lyrics of that song, echoed around in his head, over and over, driving him further into his despair.

After about an hour of drinking the strongest alcohol he could get his hands on, with it having no effect on his mood, he made his way home. Stumbling due to the sheer amount of alcohol coursing through his system, the red-haired teen attempted to make it through his house, and mostly succeeding, only occasionally bumping into doors, and the edge of his hall table.

Staggering in through his thankfully already open bed room door, he made it to his bed and collapsed. He was half way to falling asleep when his computer decided to remind him he still had unread messages, since he had apparently forgotten to turn it off earlier. Internally debating whether it was worth the effort to get up to check his messages, he sighed as he slowly pushed himself up, off the comfort of his bed, and walked over to his computer, stubbing his toe three times on the way there, due to the random clutter his sister and friend had left on his floor.

Opening up the message, Shirou's eyes darted to the address bar.

"Arthur?" Well, it _was_probably Afternoon in jolly old England.

Frowning, Shirou read over the message, his alcohol addled mind, struggling to translate, what would normally have been relatively easy. The words blended together, and occasionally doubled, as his vision began to blur.

Alcohol and sleep deprivation weren't good for the eyes, after all.

"Dear Shirou" he read.

"I was very sad to hear about your girlfriend, Caren, dumping you. Since you no longer have a girlfriend, maybe I could come to Japan and we could..." he trailed of, narrowing his eyes at the offending piece of text.

"...The heck does that say?" It would have been nice if Arthur had bothered to pick up some Japanese, but, people in glass houses right?

Grabbing the dictionary that was placed on his desk, he opened it and flipped through the pages before ripping it out and bringing it up to his face, "Au – to... to meet..!"

Shirou got up from his chair – which fell onto the floor – and gripped his head, his intoxicated brain calculating everything that he read as well as what Gil told him before they went to Gai's, "Oh geez, Gil was right, this guy wants to have sex with me..!"

In a weird drunk frenzy, it made sense to Shirou. His pen pal only wanted to become friends with him, waiting for a chance to strike. Shirou being dumped by Caren was the catalyst to it and now his testicles were now in danger. Regaining whatever bearing he has now, he walked up to his desk and bent forward. There was no way his testicles were going to be made into a wind-chime, he won't allow it.

"Uh... Listen Arthur, I don't want to arrange a meeting with you, you sick British freak," Shirou said aloud as he typed it down, "So stay away from me _and_my genitals and don't message me ever again, good-bye..!"

Shirou sent the message and backed away from his desk before he tripped on his chair, hitting the floor hard, "Ow..."

* * *

Waking up on the floor was not a comfortable feeling. His back was stiff, and his side hurt, due to the lack of proper support he usually got from his mattress. The pounding headache, sore throat and sluggish nature of his thoughts, reminded him just how much he had drunk last night. He didn't want to get up. He just wanted to go back to sleep, and hopefully, when he woke up next, he'd be less hung over. Unfortunately, the sound of someone messing around on his computer vetoed that plan in favour of making sure whoever it was hadn't managed to do something that he'd have difficulty explaining later.

"I am never drinking again..." He groaned, pushing himself to his feet, with some difficulty.

Glancing over towards where his computer, he found it was pretty much exactly who he had suspected.

"Illya, what are you doing." Shirou somehow managed to gasp out, the pain in his throat briefly spiking as he did. He briefly allowed his pounding head to lie against the cool floor, before his fried brain finally registered his sister appearance, causing it to quickly snap back up.

"And why are you wearing my bathrobe like that!?" Honestly, while he was mostly unconcerned with his sister wearing his bathrobe, it was the way she was wearing it that bothered him.

Actually, he wasn't even really sure she was wearing it. It hung loose around her shoulders, and she hadn't even bothered to tighten it in the least, and given that she apparently wasn't wearing anything underneath it… It showed off skin in all the places that, had she been older, would have left men drooling piles of putty in her hands. But as it was, even with all the leg she was showing, and the fact that Shirou could almost see pink on her chest, Shirou's only real concern was his sister's modesty.

"Oh? See something you like?" She teased, striking a pose that, on an older girl would have been incredibly provocative, just made a girl Illya's age look silly.

"Wha-!? No! Put than on properly! And you never answered my question!" The effects of his hangover having finally left him, in his outrage, Shirou made his way over to check what his sister was doing.

"I was just reading your mail…" She pouted, her charms having had no effect on her Onii-Chan.

"You shouldn't be doing that." He admonished her, glancing at the screen, to see how far in she had gotten.

"Mama says it's alright..."

Shirou just gave her a complete deadpan stare.

"...Sorry. Anyway, do you really plan on meeting up with this British girl?" Illya skillfully changed the subject.

"British girl?" He questioned, before it clicked in his head.

"Ah, no, Arthur's a _guy_." He explained to his sister.

"Hmm? But back in this message here," she said, bringing up the message, "She said her name is _Arturia_, which, I guess, is a female equivalent of Arthur... simple mistake to make I guess."

"...What." A sudden chill made its way down his spine at that.

"So, were you really planning on meeting her without telling us?" She attempted to give him her best "Sad Puppy" look, but Shirou was too distracted to take notice of it.

"...Wait, you thought she was a guy? Oh, god, I have to tell Mama!" Shooting up out of her seat, she made a beeline for where she knew her mother would be.

Meanwhile, the memories of last night finally began to resurface, and Shirou began to frantically shake his head in denial.

"No... No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO!" He finally screamed his frustration and shock finally overcoming his flimsy mental barriers.

* * *

"So what was so important that I had to come over so early in the morning?" Barley containing his yawn, Gil strolled into Shirou's room as if he owned the place, munching on a cookie he had likely swiped from Iri when she wasn't looking.

Shirou's skin had taken a rather pasty hue to it, sweat dripping down his forehead, as he muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Gil asked, as he leaned in, straining to hear his friends mumbled, rambling.

Suddenly snapping his head up, Shirou came to a decision.

"I'm in love with my Pen Pal. I'm in love with Arthur."

Gil blinked at the oddly determined, and yet strangely defeated tone in the red heads voice, while subtly taking a few small steps away from him.

"Ah okay. I thought something like this might happen." Closing his eyes, he adopted the standard "Wise Man" pose.

"Quite frankly, I'm surprised it took you this long to leave the closet, but I'm glad you chose me to come out to first." Finishing off his stolen cookie, he wiped the crumbs from his hand, and actually faced Shirou again.

"Oh, I wouldn't tell Illya though if I were you. You might just wind up waking up in the middle of the night, to her "showing you the light", after all." Shivering slightly at the thought, He went to carry on his impassioned speech, before Shirou cut him off.

"No you idiot, Arthur is a _girl_." He replied, burying is face in his hand.

"Now Shirou, if you're gonna come out of the closet, you have to be honest..." He replied, complacently.

Shirou just rolled his eyes at his friends' theatrics, calmly strolled over to the computer, and picked up the picture he'd left next to it.

"No, you idiot, _this _is Arthur. I mean Arturia." He pointed at the short, blonde haired girl in the picture.

"Oh? She's actually pretty cute." Gil muttered, his eyes tracing the girl's form.

"Yeah, and until last night, she actually wanted to come and meet me. Thanks for that by the way. Worst advice you ever gave me."

Shirou sat down on his bed, raking his hair with his fingers as he went through what he just learned. His pen pal - the person he was sending e-mails to and wanted to come to Japan - was a girl all along. This was definitively not his best day ever, right next to yesterday. Gil sat right next to him while staring at the photo, many thoughts running through his head.

"Look, it isn't all that bad," Gil stated as he continued to stare at the photo, "Though, she is pretty cute..!"

Shirou sighed, getting up from his bed, "That isn't the point, the two of us had this bond… and I managed to screw it up."

"So fix it," Gil pointed out.

"How, Arturia blocked her e-mail account, there's no phone number," Shirou stated, sitting down on his chair, "The only thing I know is that she lives in London."

Gil eyes widened slightly as an idea sparked in his head, "Then go to London and patch things there."

"I can't just go to London, I have to work for my dad so it looks good on my college application," Shirou dead-panned, "Plus, I don't have the money..."

"Geez, this is just like you. Caren is right, you are predictable." Gil pointed out.

What Gil just said struck a chord with Shirou, and it was the chord that Gil was aiming for. Shirou hated to admit it, but Caren _was_ right, he really was predictable. Going to London, meeting Arturia, and fixing things over there would be out of character for him, but it was probablly the only way to break that habit.

Shirou swivelled on his chair, looking at Gil as a small smile was growing on his face.

"I'm going to Britain." Shirou stated.

Gil smirked, "No, _we're_going to Britain."

"Alright, I gotta get packing," Shirou said, searching around his room for his traveling backpack.

"Okay, I'll go home and pack up my stuff," Gil said as he head towards the doorway, "Oh, and Rin should join us too since we're heading on the same flight."

As Gil headed off, Shirou looked back from his closet, "What..?"

* * *

The sound of a couple of flights was heard as Shirou and Gil entered the airport. People were coming and going, as they tried to find Rin who was mixed somewhere among the crowd, waiting for them. Shirou didn't exactly approve of Gil's actions as it was likely to end with them meeting a very irritated twin-tailed 18-year-old. They heard footsteps coming their way and saw Rin heading towards them, her left eyebrow twitching.

As the old saying goes, speak of the devil and _she_shall appear.

"Okay Gil, you have about ten seconds to explain to me why I'm not on my flight to Paris." Rin demanded her right foot tapping on the tiles.

Gil simply smiled, which never bode well, "Well, we're going to London via Paris, and I have an easier way of getting us a flight there. Besides, don't you like hanging out with us?"

"Tohsaka, please, I _need _to go to London to fix things up with my pen pal." Shirou explained.

"That's right," Gil stated, wrapping an arm around Shirou's neck, "He just found out that Arthur was actually a girl, and I'm not joking, all this is true."

"Really?" Rin asked, watching Shirou nod his head as a confirmation, "Alright, let's hurry, we're wasting time..." She sighed.

Gil smirked again, "Follow me."

It didn't take long for Gil to bring them to their destination, the place were they can be couriers. Rin felt her left eyebrow twitching again as she stared at Gil, who had both his arms out as if it was some sort of big surprise. She had to admit that it would be cheaper, but she already had her ticket, so there was no point of her being there. Shirou sighed, wondering what was going through Gil's mind.

"We're going to be couriers?" Shirou asked.

"Yeah, way cheaper than what you would expect." Gil explained, "My friend, Enkidu, used this to get to Egypt once, though, when he got there, some people did try to take one of his legs..." He trailed off…

Shirou's eyes widened, "What?"

Gil looked back at him, "Oh, don't worry, I highly doubt that's gonna happen to us." He responded, as he waved his arms in front of him.

"Ugh, look, I can't just stand here and wait for you two, I'm going," Rin told them as the faint sound of a plane taking of could be heard, "Gil, what time is it..?" she asked, her face going white.

Gil blinked before he took out his cell phone, "Oh, would you look at that; the flight to London is already taking off."

Rin stared before she made her way towards him, her eyes speaking of death, torture, and anything else that was unspeakable. Shirou reacted and stopped Rin, holding her back from killing Gil. As Shirou tries to stop Rin from getting away and killing Gil, the man in question cupped his chin, the left side of his face reflecting a sinister smirk. He was brought out of his joyous thoughts as the woman running the courier service came back.

"Well, the flight to London has just taken off, but there is one to Paris that departs soon," She told Gil.

Gil smirked, "We'll take it."

* * *

Rin was deep in her reading as the plane was high in the air, music playing through the ear-buds that was adorned in each ear. Shirou was two seats to her right, his head resting on the seat as he stared off into space. Gil was right next to him, messing around with his seat as he constantly leaned back and forth. After getting the three tickets, Rin managed to pull away from Shirou and get her hands on Gil, bashing his chest repeatedly for causing her to miss her flight to London. What's keeping her from resuming her attack was reading her book and listening to some relaxing music.

Shirou made sure that Rin was deep in her book before he looked at Gil, "You set this up, didn't you?"

"Had it in my head while I was in your room, just had to keep her distracted enough," Gil stated as he rubbed his chest, "Didn't expect her to hit me hard though."

Shirou smiled, "I'm glad you guys are with me, thanks."

"Hey, we'll always be there for you when there's trouble," Gil said, pausing for a bit, "Well, Rin will but enough about that, this is the perfect time to realize my dream."

Shirou arched an eyebrow in question but he could hazard a guess at what it is, "And that is?"

"Okay, crazy European sex," Gil told him.

"Crazy European sex?" Shirou repeated, questioning it.

"Yeah, I mean, sex over in Japan is great and all but I always wanted to have crazy European sex," Gil explained.

Shirou chuckled a bit, "You're nuts."

"Look, Japan is one of the many sex capitals of the world," Gil told him, "Europe has that in multiple places due to different countries and whatever, it's the perfect time to broaden my sexual horizons!"

"Still, thanks," Shirou repeated.

Gil shook his head, "No, no; thank you for giving me this chance."

Shirou nodded before a thought popped into his head, "But what about your internship at that law firm?"

"Eh, I'll think of something, but helping you out is my number one priority," Gil said, wrapping an arm around Shirou's neck, "Plus, we get to drag Issei into it."

Shirou had had his suspicions that Gil planned for them to get a different flight, but he had no idea about Gil dragging Issei into it, "Was this also a part of your plan?"

"Eh, Issei did say he was going to Europe and what's a better place to start out with than Paris?"

Shirou cringed a bit, "You know, maybe I _should _let Tohsaka kill you."

"Look, just the four of us, going through Europe, doing things with no restrictions," Gil stated, "It's the perfect time for me to explore my dream, you to learn how to do stuff that's unpredictable, Rin to do her... Rin stuff and Issei to stop being such a stick-up-ass geek."

It did make sense; Shirou was doing this to meet Arturia and to be unpredictable. Gil was only trying to do what he thought was best for his friends, despite how messed up his plans were. Issei really had to grow out of that compact circle he had grown into, and Rin only wanted to go to London, but this could be a trip where she could do something that didn't revolve around one set destination. Gil was already self-explanatory, so in the end, all of them would be gaining something out of it.

"You really thought this out, haven't you?" Shirou asked.

Gil smiled before his face changed expressions, becoming neutral, "It's my passion."

* * *

"Master, that item you ordered? It's on its way."

"Excellent news Uryuu. I guess I should finish up here then." Gilles de Rais replied to his protégé, as he turned away from the broken form of what had once been a human being.

"Cool…" The young psychopath muttered, at he looked his teacher's handiwork over.

"But, why couldn't you just get it from a shop in Paris?" he questioned, referring to the parcel that was on its way. To him, it seemed like an awfully inconvenient way to go about things, especially with how busy the boss had kept them as of late.

"Because she'd find out about if I did. This was the only way to make sure she didn't find out until I was ready." He said, attempting to clean up his tools, a smile decorating his pale face.

* * *

**Authors Note: **This story is a collaboration between myself, and Mister House, try guess who wrote which parts!

Also looking for a Beta.


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